So the old folks (me and Nat) got to go to a concert on Friday night! We dropped the kids off at Grammy and Papa's and went to see our favorite band... Well the two defining members at least, those being Don and Lori Chaffer of Waterdeep. We also went to see Derek Webb, who has never been on the top of any of my lists, but he did manage to create one of my favorite albums ever in "Mockingbird". Derek's wife, Sandra McCracken, is the one I didn't mention. I had not heard her before, but I enjoyed her music as well.

3. A little bit weird

So, if I've been following all these rules really well, and other people think I've got it together, why would I decide to buck the system?
From what I have read and understand of the Bible, the character of Jesus is predominantly expressed as love for others. Who the others are and how He showed this love are what I've been humbled to think about. The people Jesus loved on most consistently were often marginalized. That means people who weren't the mainstream, the commonly accepted mold.
Jesus cared for tax collectors, prostitutes, adulterers, the mentally unstable, the sick, the poor. He showed love by meeting the needs of these people, and by being who He was were they were. Jesus didn't sit in the synagogue and wait for people to come to Him, nor did He expand His ministry by asking them to come to church.
Jesus had real relationships with people. He went to weddings (where He even made wine, if he were Baptist I'm sure it would have been just grape juice) and celebrated with people. He went to funerals and grieved with people (Lazarus' family). He ate dinner with people at their houses, not just at the fellowship dinner.
Jesus spent a lot of time teaching his disciples, but it was usually an object lesson to be learned by watching Him care for people. So were does this leave me? I guess it means that I feel like I've spent a good deal of my life learning how to make myself more righteous, but not enough time in relationships with people who don't necessarily associate themselves with church. I want to make sure the excess I have goes to help someone instead of upgrading my vehicle or tv. Even though I might say I don't condemn someone's actions, if I won't be their friend or get to know their heart, am I really being Christlike to them?
So now I try to ask myself what it would look like if I lived like Jesus now.

2. What is Christianity?

Current mood: voluminous

As I was growing up, being a Christian meant that you belived in God and Jesus, and you went to church. Well, you might go to church, if you were a "good" one. If you were really holy, you went every Sunday and even on Wednesday. You were among the "strong" and "faithfull" if you lived a "blameless" life. This lifestyle entailed the following stipulations as a teenager: don't cuss, don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs, don't get pregnant or get someone pregnant before you're married and get married immediately if you do. That's the reader's digest condensed version from my home town.
There's a whole new set of rules to follow when you get older. Of course you have to keep going to church, abstaining from alcohol, drugs, etc... but now you should be involved at church as well. You should sing in the choir, teach Sunday School, be on a committee, and generally be as visible as possible while you appear to be a model citizen in the community. You should be sure to "protect your witness" by never being seen in less than ideal surroundings or with less than ideal people.
You should always vote Republican, because Republicans have morals, and you should be sure that your entire life is saturated by conservativism. (Not sure if that's a real word, but I'm using it anyway) What is Conservativism? Well, it's being sure that you're not duped by that liberal media for one thing. You soak yourself in news, art, music, literature, conversation, and relationships that are "Christian" or conservative. Avoid anything secular like the plague.
I could go on, but I'll summarize by saying this: This lifestyle provides you with a formula for appearing as "sinless" as possible. Visible sins are the ones that are publically condemned. If you don't steal or live an alternative lifestyle, or anything else that's obvious, you are "righteous". This seems a bit complex to me.
The word Christian is used as an adjective all too often. I've decided to make it more important to me as a noun.
Christian: one who follows the teachings of Jesus Christ
To be incredibly simple, Christianity is living your life as Jesus lived his.
So what does real Christianity look like if it's not going to church and following all the rules? I promise I'm not completely negative about this. I'll continue later.

Currently listening : Mockingbird By Derek Webb Release date: 27 December, 2005

1. Religion/ Catching up

Current mood: pensive

This blog is about my journey into finding my own reasons to believe in something bigger than me, and not just toeing the company line of evangelical christianity.
Please pardon my affinity for run-on sentences, I just love those commas, and it takes me a lot of babbling to complete a thought.

So I've had an interesting year or two in the religous/spiritual department. What does this mean? Well I decided that I should go ahead and think about some things that have fluttered about in my noggin for years. There's something about having been raised in church all your life (especially in the protestant church, and even more so in certain denominations) that teaches you to quell the desire to ask the hard existential and moral quandries in life, but I've come to believe that questioning my faith system has restructured it in a much stronger way.
I'll go into more detail later, if you care to join me.

Currently listening : Coil By Toad the Wet Sprocket Release date: 20 May, 1997

Old myspace blog

The following entries are from my old myspace blog. I think they lay some groundwork for some future posts so I'm re-posting them here. If you've read them before, humor me and pretend they're new.

Fuzzydad in action.

Well hello there!

So, after some dalliances on myspace and other sundries of the interweb, I've decided my rantings are to be aired on a blogspot. Whether what yarns I may spin in this very fuzzy head of mine are worth displaying to the world, who's to say? I've never thought I was that important, or at least never said I thought that......
Anywho, stay tuned for some foolheaded musings of a musician who likes to casually plumb the depths of social mores and religious dogma from time to time, some light hearted play-by-play of my life, and lots and lots of run on sentences (and parenthetical asides).
Ryan